Now that its out of the way, I can begin to tell you all about intelligence.
Intelligence is the sort of word you see on “Would you rather” tests. Would you rather be intelligent or good looking? It’s the kind of word your teacher, parents, and aunt use to describe you. It’s the word people use to describe the path they think is best for you. Yes, intelligence has the world against it.
When you are intelligent jokes aren’t as funny, because you immediately think of a several fallacies in the joke. When you are intelligent things bother you more, because ignorance is not your bliss. Company is dull. Movies are predictable. News is no surprise.
Welcome to fashionably intelligent society.
If you happen to have grown up in a large homeschooling family where debate, puzzles, interrogation, investigation and court hearings happened before breakfast, then surely you understand my plight. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. I spent a lot of time practicing using quick wit, facts, experiences, and sarcasm to get my point across. I play the flute, write stories, work hard at my job, have a large circle of friends, and know how to file taxes.
Still all this is trumped by a far more significant sign of intelligence. I have blonde hair.
How could this physical trait over power my so developed mind? Is it the prejudice of other people? Is it my clumsy tendency? Is it the expectation that society imposes? Or is that beauty alters the perception of truth?
As a homeschooler, when I would venture outside the home (don’t be alarmed, it happened more than you might think) I was often mortified by how against intelligence the world seemed to be. I went to public school for a few years, and learned that being smart and literal was the path to “teacher’s pet” and “annoying know it all”. Granted this was only middle school, but this is a universal truth. Intelligence is not fashionable and is almost always awkward. Even in college the same applies. You will be mocked for pointing out the illogical premise and ridiculed for basing your early bedtime on tomorrow’s exam.
Admit it: you don’t want to be a nerd. We would almost always choose to be charming and good looking over being intelligent (Accept when we are trying to “look good” in front of someone we like. In which case we will try not to appear shallow and lie about our desire to be intelligent).
Those of you who are fashionable, normal, and stupid suffer as well. You have all the attention and all the opportunity, but nothing of consequence to say. Your premise may be catchy, but the punch line leaves us drained. Thank you for contributing to society. Now it is popular to believe lies, be confused, rely on others, and hope the government will save you.
Now back to the blonde hair.
I have discovered that in order for this world to be taken back, we must develop into a new breed of people. We must be manipulative and tactful. This will require the intelligence of chess, but the bluff of poker.
People are distracted by the fact that I am a young girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. When I start a conversation with intelligence, no one seems to notice. They want charm, flirtation, and stupidity so that they can feel better about themselves.
This is why everyone thinks blondes are dumb. It takes TWO to have a conversation. If the person I am speaking to cannot get over the hair and charm….then no matter what I say, it will be taken the wrong way. Miscommunication always happens when no one is listening.
Anyways, back to the point: HOW TO TAKE BACK THE WORLD.
I discovered that the best way to introduce intelligence into the world is to be like Marry Poppins. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
So my intelligent readers, here is the plan. We must sneak into people’s hearts and minds by giving them what they want. We will be charming, good looking, silly, laugh too much, and over use punch lines. Then when we appear to be a society cookie cut out, and a complete idiot, then we will turn on a light. That is when we will begin to use complete sentences, thoughts, and theories. That is when we will take over the world.
You see just being smart will do nothing, unless everyone else is smart enough to follow your lead. Those who are unintelligent will hardly have the sense to know what to follow, therefore let us win them over with our charm and kindness. Let us use what God has given us to better society.
To those who have been given much, much will be required.